I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
