if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
