It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
