I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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