He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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