omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
