i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
