I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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