I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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