I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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