Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
