I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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