somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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