Small penises have feelings too.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
