I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
