Duck Duck Cougar?
i would punch a child for taco bell
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
