As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
