I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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