he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
