I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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