Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
