I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Too much gin, very little bucket
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
These tits shall not be calmed
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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