okay pat passed out under dana's car
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize