Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
