is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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