I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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