I'm jealous of your bromance
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize