it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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