there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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