Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
