I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize