I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
