what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
