My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
