Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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