this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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