dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
