I wish I only lived at night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
