her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
