she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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