Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
