I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
