Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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