New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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