...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
