we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
