So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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