Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
