last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
