Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
