You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dick very happy bro
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
