yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
