Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
40s are totally the cure
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
