I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
