Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
