Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
