Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
