i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
