I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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