The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Actions speak louder than pants.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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