apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
