On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
