Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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