i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
