I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
